The Secret to Having a Healthy Halloween October has dawned, and the inevitable has happened: People are starting to talk about Halloween.
Costumes.
Trick-or-Treat ideas.
And of course…the food.
What To Do About All That Halloween Candy
Must Halloween be an all-out sugar fest for our kids? Luckily, my little one is still (just barely!) young enough that when he gets one (small) piece of candy as a dessert after a meal, he’s content with that and sees it as a treat. (Would I like it better if he ate no candy? Of course! But I still eat it occasionally, so I can’t complain too loudly.) We have Halloween candy around until the summer parade candy takes over. But I still dread the onslaught of unknown sugar that comes with October 31st.
Is there a better way?
What options does a “real food” household have for trick-or-treating?
When we first moved into a real house in a neighborhood, I was pretty excited about hosting trick-or-treaters. Even then I didn’t want to contribute to the sugar fest, so I went to a local novelty store and bought small toys in bulk: bouncy balls, fake fangs, gooey balls, witches’ fingers, toy boats, and more.
Wouldn't you like your child to come to my house?
I spent about twenty-five bucks ($13 of which was the huge bag of bouncy balls that I’ll still have when I’m a senior citizen). Turns out our neighborhood doesn’t host a big trick-or-treating crowd. I was so disappointed that first year!
To Sugar or Not to Sugar?
I’m an anti-materialist, too, and I have a healthy fear of “things” coming into our house. We’re running out of places to put “things”, so I’d rather not acquire more than what I need (or really, really want!). My kids both get a lot of toys as gifts from family members, and I wasn’t thrilled about contributing to other folks’ “junk piles”…BUT I decided “things” that won’t hurt anyone’s health are better than candy.
Easy Healthy Halloween Party Ideas
Healthy Halloween Parties, Dinner and Face Paint - If you happen to be able to be in charge of a school Halloween party and want healthy food options, I can totally cover you. Here are some peeks at easy healthy Halloween party ideas for kids.
If you happen to be able to be in charge of a school Halloween party and want healthy food options, I can totally cover you. Read all about the healthy Halloween party and food I organized last year for a second-grade classroom, complete with a full menu and game instructions, and be sure to put it on your Halloween or fall Pinterest board – click HERE for an easy repin.
I enjoyed discovering the following in an old book my cousin found in our Busia’s (Polish grandma’s) attic, The Year and our Children: Planning the Family Activities for Christian Feasts and Seasons by Mary Reed Newland:
Begging at the door grew from an ancient English custom of knocking at doors to beg for a “soul cake” in return for which the beggars promised to pray for the dead of the household. Soul cakes, a form of shortbread… became more important for the beggars than prayers for the dead, it is said. Florence Berger tells in her Cooking for Christ a legend of a zealous cook who vowed she wold invent soul cakes to remind them of eternity at every bite. So she cut a hole in the middle and dropped it in hot fat, and lo — a doughnut. Circle that it is, it suggests the never-ending of eternity. Truth or legend, it serves a good purpose at Halloween.
The refrains sung at the door varied from “a soul cake, a sol cake, have mercy on all Christian souls for a soul cake,” to the later:
Soul, soul, an apple or two, If you haven’t an apple, a pear will do, One for Peter, two for Paul, Three for the Man Who made us all.
[People put on pantomimes and dramas to remind people of the] reality of life after death and the means to attain it. it is probably from these that the custom of masquerading on Halloween had its beginning. The folly of a life of selfishness would be the message pantomimed by the damned; the torment of waiting, the message of the souls from Purgatory; the delights of the beatific vision, the message of he Heavensent. Together they warned the living to heed the means of salvation before it was too late. Doubtless the presence of goblins and witches and cats (ancient symbols of the devil) were remnants of pagan times bespeaking to Christians of spirits loosed from hell to keep track of their own and herd them back at cockcrow.
I’m not about to make homemade doughnuts to feed the neighborhood, so for me, I’m sticking with my toy basket. I wish I had some suggestions for how to quell the flow of Halloween candy coming IN, but we just ration it and allow the excitement that comes along with Halloween.
Ideas for a Sweet-less Trick-or-Treat
Time to chime in! What ideas do you have to help people avoid being a candy supplier to the neighborhood kids? How do you manage your own kids and their trick-or-treating loot?
I asked this question on Twitter and Facebook and got some good ideas to start you off, beginning with my own:
little raisin boxes or natural fruit snacks (my S-I-L always gets them for my son from Trader Joe’s)
holy cards/saint cards (for the bold)
trading cards (baseball, what’s that anime one?)
little soaps (not anti-bacterial!)
pencils, erasers, crayons (bought at the back-to-school sales, of course)
Snack-packs of Goldfish or something else relatively not-un-healthy (better than HFCS or white sugar)
Kids love a few coins!
Playdough (maybe even homemade!)
Activity books and crayons
Momtrends and Jen Steed agree with me: stickers, tattoos, stamps and toys (both mentioned Oriental Trading as a source for those who may not have a novelty shop in their hometown)
Fancy Treats for Halloween
If you have a neighborhood like the one I grew up in, you might do special treat bags for the neighborhood kids. We didn’t get many trick-or-treaters, so my mom always bought a full-size candy bar for the local kiddos. If you’re willing to spend a little more time or money on your visiting ghouls, here are some ideas (homemade food is probably frowned upon unless you know the giver, right?):
Salted, spiced nuts
Roasted pumpkin seeds
@rcwant2be has deep pockets: Lara bars (they’re so good though!)
Kettle Corn or Popcorn Balls
How about minimally sweet popcorn balls . . . there’s a recipe on allrecipes for kettle corn that only uses about a tablespoon of sugar and it works great! (The recipe I found has 1/4 cup, but I bet you could cut it. Of course, use melted butter or coconut oil instead of vegetable oil!) Less sweet than caramel corn or popcorn balls (though popcorn balls that include peanut butter are pretty good too!)
Crispy Pumpkin Seeds
Soaked Crispy Pumpkin Seeds. Super easy instructions for how to make pumpkin seeds for a fall-spiced (or just spicy), healthy Halloween treat. Step-by-step making pumpkin seeds tutorial includes how to soak seeds overnight for maximum nutrition.
After you carve the pumpkin (or bake pie pumpkins or even spaghetti squash or butternut squash, be sure to read up on how to make pumpkin seeds and know that you can definitely soak and dehydrate them just like other nuts and seeds. Click through for all my tricks, including how to make the job wait for you when you just don’t have time to roast pumpkin seeds.
Healthy Trick-or-Treat Dinner
Healthy Halloween Parties, Dinner and Face Paint - If you happen to be able to be in charge of a school Halloween party and want healthy food options, I can totally cover you. Here are some peeks at easy healthy Halloween party ideas for kids.
It’s made of real food, cute as all get-out, and can be made in advance to put in the oven quickly – the perfect meal for Halloween when you have to be getting out to trick-or-treat by a normal dinnertime hour. Shepherd’s Pie is a very popular recipe here at KS (and here at the Kimball house too), and the spooky version is just right for October 31.
The After Party: Washing Faces
And finally, if your little clown or ghoul will be wearing facepaint, you’ll love this real-food-based super simple tip for getting facepaint off without tears (or toxins).
If you want to start the face painting process without toxins too, we got to test out Elegant Minerals brand of face paints – they’re great, and the ingredients are not only actually listed, but quite nicely non-toxic, too. (a relief!)
The Secret to Having a Healthy Halloween: Creative Ideas and Solutions
Disclosure: There are affiliate links in this post to both courses from which I will earn some commission if you make a purchase. See my full disclosure statement here.
Original article and pictures take www.kitchenstewardship.com site
The Secret Super-Nutrient Infants, Children and Adults Need Every Day
There is so much talk about super-nutrients and super-foods, it can keep your head spinning. These include Vitamin D, DHA and cod liver oil for starters. However, there is one nutrient – not a vitamin and not a mineral – that is not mentioned enough.
Choline is a water soluble nutrient that is usually grouped with the B vitamin complex. While the human body does make some choline, it is not enough to sustain health. In fact, in 1998 the Food and Nutrition Board of the Institute of Medicine declared choline to be an essential nutrient – one that we have to get from food.
Along with this designation came the daily dietary recommendations for choline. Currently, it is 425 mg for women and 550 mg for men, per day, as well as 450 mg in pregnancy and 550 mg while lactating. Sadly, most Americans are not getting these levels of choline, which are merely the minimum needed to prevent liver disease.
Choline deficiency is a by-product of the low fat, low cholesterol craze, because, although it is a water soluble nutrient, it is found in most of the same foods that contain cholesterol and saturated fat which have been so wrongly maligned.
Role of Choline in Fetal Development
It is critical for pregnant and breastfeeding women to get plenty of choline. In China, pregnant women eat up to 10 eggs a day to ensure a healthy baby. Choline is critical for proper development of the brain and nervous system and deficiency has been associated with learning and memory problems in children.
Choline is present in breast milk which clearly indicates the need in a growing child. The levels of choline in the breast milk is entirely dependent upon the mother’s dietary intake. Commercial baby formulas do not have appropriate levels (and are contraindicated due to other critical problems).
Role of Choline in Cell Membranes, Nerves and Brain
Choline is one of the building blocks for important phospholipids such as, phosphatidylcholine and sphinogomyelin. Phosphatidylcholine is a critical element of every cell membrane. Approximately 95% of total tissue choline is used in cell membrane synthesis.
It’s important.
Sphinogomyelin is another phospholipid that is synthesized from choline. This one is vital for the myelinated fatty sheath that surrounds and protects all the neurons in the body. When the nerves become demyelinated, diseases like multiple sclerosis ensue.
Additionally, choline is essential for the synthesis of the neurotransmitter, acetylcholine. This molecule is important to neural functions such as memory, circadian rhythm, muscle control and the release of other neurotransmitters made from tyrosine such as noradrenaline, adrenaline and dopamine.
In studies of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, it has been reported that there is a deficit of acetylcholine and abnormal phospholipid metabolism in the brain. Can we prevent these diseases if we protect our brain with appropriate nutrition? Hopefully we will see more studies targeting prevention of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.
Role of Choline in Liver Health
Cholesterol is packaged in the liver for transport to other tissues. This assembly line is fueled by phosphatidylcholine. If there is a deficiency of phosphatidylcholine the fat accumulates in the liver and can develop into fatty liver.
The best source of choline is in organ meats. Beef liver has a whopping 356 mg of choline per every 3 ounces. That’s almost the RDA.
Wheat germ also has a lot – at 202 mg per 1 cup. The next best source is, of course, egg yolks, at 147 mg per 1 large egg. I would encourage you to source pasture raised eggs for the deep nutrition they have in the yolks. (source)
The next best sources are animal products, such as, beef, seafood and dairy as well as nuts and seeds.
Supplements of Choline
I recommend getting all your choline from food sources, because this also provides you with the cofactors that work synergistically together. If you feel you need to take a supplement you can use lecithin or phosphatidylcholine. However, I would avoid soy lecithin as it is probably made from GMO soybeans (which have other pressing problems as well).
You could also use phosphatidylcholine supplements from a reputable manufacturer, but here again is the issue of the source.
Once again we see the urgent need for eating foods from well sourced animals. Make delicious chicken liver pate that your kids will ask for! Offer plenty of eggs and bake with them!
Are you diligent in sourcing your animal products from pasture raised farms? Leave a comment a let me know!
Original article and pictures take realfoodforager.com site
The Scared Parent’s Guide to Talking to Boys About Masturbation
This post is focused on talking about masturbation. It’s written for parents, especially scared parents, about how to talk to boys about masturbation.
I learned about masturbation probably the same way other guys did: I discovered it on my own. No one talked to me about it. No one told me how to do it. I didn’t even have a name for it for the first several years of my adolescence. It wasn’t included in any “sex talks” from my parents or the public school system. It wasn’t until I heard a group friends at school joking around about “jacking off” that I discovered that I wasn’t all that unique in my secret habits.
When boys get to the age where masturbation becomes a habit linked with lust, how can Christian parents address the subject? How can parents begin talking about masturbation with their sons?
The Scared Parents Guide To Talking About Masturbation To Boys
In this article I’ll be addressing how to talk to boys 11 and up about masturbation. The exact age when boys begin engaging in lustful fantasy varies from child to child, so this is a guideline, not a rule.
Nervous about having sex talks with your son? Check out our course Having the Talk for more tips and advice about talking to your kids about sex.
(As I stated in my last article, I’m well aware that women and girls also masturbate, and yes, daughters should receive education about this as well. I’ve deliberately chosen to focus on boys in this article because (1) I am a man, and (2) I have four boys and no daughters.)
Talking About Masturbation and Ejaculation
As I said in my previous post, going from the Merriam-Webster definition of masturbation, we are talking specifically about the stimulation of one’s own genitals in a concentrated manner that often leads to orgasm. Even young boys can masturbate to orgasm, but pre-pubescent boys will not be capable of ejaculation.
One study states that on average boys experience their first conscious ejaculation (called “semenarche”) at 12.9 years old. Other studies state the average is a little older: 13 ½ years (± ½ year). For most American boys, semenarche is a result of masturbation (as opposed to a nocturnal emission or “wet dream”).
In retrospect, most boys feel unprepared for their first ejaculation because they were never instructed about it beforehand. Most boys experience a mix of emotions, often great pleasure mixed with a desire for secrecy, and one study concludes that this is because it is socially taboo and most parents don’t have any intention on talking to their sons about it.
Parents, be forewarned: Talking about masturbation with your son means getting comfortable (or pushing through your discomfort) about saying words like “orgasm,” “arousal,” “ejaculation,” “erection,” and “semen.” If you cringe at the thought, you must reset your thinking. These are not “dirty” words. Your boys need a language for their experiences, and if you don’t provide them with that language, they will learn it elsewhere.
Masturbation and Lust
For some men, masturbation is not an act associated with fantasy. Dr. Doug Weiss says there are some who masturbate and “stay connected” to themselves and only concentrate on the physical activity itself. They don’t “escape” into fantasy. For most pre-pubescent children, this is what masturbation is often like—unless they have been sexually abused or shown graphic pornography. However, for teens and pre-teens, sexual fantasy is the driving force of masturbation most of the time.
Surveys show that boys remember beginning sexual fantasy (beyond just attraction) shortly after turning 11, on average.
While the Bible says nothing about masturbation as an activity, it has a great deal to say about sexual lust. For parents, this should be the focus of our conversation for boys.
Boys should understand: Masturbation is—more often than not—the bad fruit of a bad tree. Even if the desire to masturbate a specific moment isn’t tied directly to a lustful thought, it is often the result of many instances of lust throughout the day. If boys feel an overwhelming desire to masturbate, they need to look at how they handle the issue of lust.
Talking to boys about masturbation can be awkward for a lot of Christian parents, but if you don't do it, someone else will. https://www.intoxicatedonlife.com/2014/08/27/talking-older-boys-masturbation-christian-perspective/
Biblical Definition of Lust
In the Old Testament, the term most often translated “lust” is the same word translated “covet.” In fact, the 10th commandment, which forbids coveting, draws out a possible sexual application: “you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife” (Deuteronomy 5:21).
In the New Testament the Greek word often translated “lust” is epithymeō, and at its root it means a strong craving or longing for something. When it is used to describe sinful longings, it can refer to cravings for evil things, but more often than not it refers to an inordinate desire—even a desire for good things.
Sexual desire is something created by God and therefore good. Lust is when that good desire becomes inordinate: when we begin to crave sex in a covetous way. Joshua Harris’ short definition of lust hits the nail on the head: “Lust is craving sexually what God has forbidden.“
Jesus is clear that lust, like all sin, is hell-worthy. “I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).
Teaching Point #1: Attraction is Not Lusting
When you begin talking about masturbation to your son, please remember that it is important to help a boy understand the naturalness and goodness of sexual attraction. It is the way God created him.
The Song of Solomon is full of poetic examples of a married man enjoying the physical beauty and body of his wife. This book is called “the song of songs” (1:1), meaning “the best song of all”—it was Solomon’s greatest poetic achievement, inspired by God to show the place of sexual love in marriage. Young boys need to understand this: their attraction to girls is something God wired into them, something He delights in because it is part of His creation.
At the same time, boys also need to develop an appreciation, not just for the goodness of sex, but the power of sex. Just as sex creates and maintains a powerful bond between a man and woman, sexual attraction is a powerful force. It should never be underestimated—and mixed with our sinful hearts, it can easily be twisted into lust.
Teach this truth to your son: Attraction is not lust, but it can easily become lust. Sex is good. Sexual attraction is good. Lust is evil. The point of distinguishing between sexual attraction and lust is that we do not want our sons harboring false guilt, always mistaking their attraction to girls as a bad thing. The point of distinguishing is not, however, to create an easy way for our boys to rationalize lust as “just attraction.” He needs to know lust is real, his heart is deceitful (Hebrews 3:13), and lust can be very ensnaring. When he experiences physical or emotional attraction, he should learn to embrace this rule of thumb: appreciate a girl’s attractiveness but be watchful of your sinful heart.
Teaching Point #2: Lust is Idolatry
Lustful fantasy, at its heart, is like a sexually-charged mental movie. Boys cast their latest crush (or crushes) as the leading lady in the movie of their minds. In that film, the woman plays a certain roll and reads the script she has been given.
These mental movies come in all types—from elaborate romantic comedies to low-budget pornos—but if boys are honest with themselves, the main character of these films is not the woman. The main character is the boy himself. At best, the woman is a supporting actress to the heart of the fantasy. The person who takes center stage is the boy who is fantasizing: he is lead actor, director, writer, and producer. The woman is there to attest to his attractiveness, his irresistibility.
In his book, It’s All About Me: The Problem with Masturbation, Winston Smith notes that this the sinful nature of lust: turning someone into an object that revolves around you. Lustful fantasy is creating a you-centered world that plays to your desires for pleasure, power, or control.
Smith likens lustful fantasy to playing god. “No matter how widely your fantasies may vary, in every instance you play god with people. You reduce those made in the image of the true God to mindless robots who serve your whims.” This is the heart of the problem with sexual fantasies: they train the mind to be self-focused, pleasure-seeking, and escapist, the exact opposite of a life that does all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).
Idolatry is at the heart of lust. Paul draws this idea out:
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
Colossians 3:5
Notice what Paul is doing: he is going from the more overt and outward sexual sins and moving to the sins of the heart. He starts with habitual sexual immorality (such as adultery, prostitution, or fornication), moves to evil desire (a strong craving), and then covetousness, which he calls idolatry.
When talking about masturbation, teach this truth to your son: Lust is offensive to God because it is self-idolatry. Do this by identifying with his tendency to lust: chances are, you can relate to the above concept of sexual fantasy. Dissect your own sexual fantasies in front of your son—not with an emphasis on graphic details, but with an emphasis on how your fantasies are self-focused and self-absorbed. Say to your son, “This is one way our sinful hearts are guilty of idolatry. Instead of making God our greatest joy in life, we escape into an imaginary world in our minds where we are the most important thing, and we use images of the opposite sex in our minds to make us feel important or loved or attractive.”
Follow this truth with grace: While it may feel good to get a girl’s attention in your imagination, God’s favor is so much better. “How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?” (John 5:44). What helps us not escape into the fantasy of lust is resting in the reality of God’s approval. In Christ, we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, and given every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3-10). Don’t escape into fantasy. Escape into the reality of God.
Teaching Point #3: Lust Robs Women of Their Dignity
Talking to boys about masturbation can be awkward for a lot of Christian parents, but if you don't do it, someone else will. https://www.intoxicatedonlife.com/2014/08/27/talking-older-boys-masturbation-christian-perspective/
Christian men are called to treat “older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity” (1 Timothy 5:2). If we were to follow the lead of our porn-saturated culture, we would say, “Treat older women as cougars and younger women as ‘barely legal.'”
Again, the distinction between attraction and lust is key here. For boys, noticing a girl’s attractiveness is as normal as the day is long. What matters is if they allow that attraction to turn to a strong craving through gazing, fantasizing, and objectifying.
Boys need to learn that woman and girls are creatures created in God’s image, and they should be treated with dignity and respect—even in a boy’s mental life. Lust robs women of that dignity. When they find themselves heading down the mental trail of lust, they need to learn to take their thoughts captive.
Teach this truth to your son: That girl is somebody’s daughter. She isn’t just the next actress in your fantasy: she is a human being, created in the image of the Creator of the universe, who has passions, goals, dreams, and purpose.
At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.
Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper
This is what we want for our boys as they grow into mature men:
We want them to honor and prize the women around them, not be patronizing or authoritarian.
We want them to accept the responsibility of servant-hearted leadership, not taking what they can get from others.
If they get married, we want our boys to become strong and tender lovers, not forceful or impotent.
If they become fathers, we want them to take the lead in their homes discipling our grandchildren.
We want our boys to see Christ not just as their Savior, but as the ultimate example of what humble, self-sacrificing men are meant to become (Philippians 2:6-8).
Contrary to what our culture might say about manliness, lust is a movement in the opposite direction from mature masculinity. Nothing about lustful fantasy trains a man to honor women, to serve unselfishly. Lustful fantasy makes a man feel like a man without requiring him to be one.
When talking about masturbation, teach this truth to your son: Imagine yourself 10 or 20 years from now. What kind of man do you want to become? Do you want to be the kind of man who sees women as objects that serve your desires? Or do you want to be the kind of man like Jesus was: a man of self-sacrifice, love, and power?
Three Principles. One Verse.
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22
This single verse should be the mantra of every growing boy. It is short, easy to memorize, and packs in 3 critical strategies boys need to learn and practice: run from, run to, and run with.
1. Run From
Our boys have “youthful passions.” The first course of action this verse prescribes is: flee.
Boys should be taught the importance of mentally fleeing: capturing their stray thoughts when they notice attraction turning to lust.
Boys should be taught the importance of visually fleeing: bouncing their eyes from the images of girls they find attractive.
Boys should be taught the importance of emotionally fleeing: often what triggers lust are emotions of loneliness, discontentment, or frustration; boys need to learn when those emotional triggers are cropping up and turn them into occasions for prayer.
Boys should be taught the importance of physically fleeing: getting out of situations where lust or sexual temptation looks inevitable.
2. Run To
It isn’t enough to run from lust. If all our boys have to choose between are lust and nothing, this is a sad choice. The human heart was never meant to merely be void of desire. You don’t kill sin by pushing it down. You kill sin by replacing it with holy desires. This verse tells us what boys need to do: pursue.
Boys should be taught to pursue righteousness: doing the things that are right in God’s sight. Boys need to develop a love for what it means to treat a woman in a way that is right.
Boys should be taught to pursue faith: a strong trust in God. Boys need to develop a trust in God that He knows exactly how to help them manage their desires for love, their raging hormones, and their future relationships.
Boys should be taught to pursue love: a benevolent affection toward God and others. Boys need to develop a strong conviction that lusting isn’t loving, and there is great pleasure in showing others the love God calls us to show.
Boys should be taught to pursue peace: a harmony with God and others. Boys need to understand that lust does not lead to peaceful relationships with others but only more sexual frustration and tension.
3. Run With
Boys also need to begin to develop strong relationships with others who can help them as they battle lust. These should should be those who “call on the Lord” (i.e. fellow Christians, as in Romans 10:13) from a “pure” (genuine) heart.
Encourage boys to talk with you (especially you, Dad). Talking about lust with mom or dad may not sound like that most natural thing in the world, but parents should identify with their sons as fellow sinners who understand the power of lust.
Encourage boys to talk with their Christian male friends. Are there some peers at church who seem genuine. Encourage your son to pursue accountability relationships with those friends.
Encourage boys to talk with other male mentors. There might be older men at your church who can serve as big brothers to your son. Look for opportunities for your son to build natural connections to those people.
A Final Word on Masturbation
For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides.
And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions with no real woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity.
In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself…
After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of ourselves, out of the little, dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.
– C.S. Lewis
I hope this post gave you wisdom about how to approach talking about masturbation with your son.
More Articles on Sex-Ed:
Original article and pictures take www.intoxicatedonlife.com site
Fish can no doubt be a healthy part of the diet, but it really comes down to the type of fish you are eating. I came across this infographic during some recent research and just loved its simplicity. They allow other people to share the infographic on their site, so I wanted to share it with you today.
If you are struggling with which types of fish you should eat and which you should avoid (in light of mercury and other pollutants), then this guide will certainly help! Thank you to the Fix.com site for allowing me to share.
Have you ever wondered who it is you really should listen to when it comes to essential oils safety? For example, it seems like there are generally two camps when it comes to ingesting oils. One says to never ever use them internally. The other camp says to be liberal with internal use. The first camp says the second is irresponsible and undereducated. The second camp says the first is hiding adulteration in their oils, trying to control the industry…and is undereducated.
Sigh.
Can’t we just get a straight answer?
Well, in the spirit of the ongoing Skeptic’sGuide to EssentialOils series, I set out to find a straight answer. I’m going to examine three groups that you may be looking to as your essential oils authority—whether you know it or not. Then I’ll give you my recommendation based on the research.
Experts DropEssential Oils “Experts”
When you are reading about an essential oils “expert,” you need to be cautious. The reason is because the term “expert” has become somewhat of a self-proclaimed title among a handful of essential oils suppliers in the world who not only source most of the companies out there, but also have a hand in a lot of the marketing and consumer information you will find.
This is a similar situation as the “therapeutic-grade” label that came out of a popular MLM’s marketing strategy a while back. Not familiar with that issue? Basically, there is no standard of therapeutic value that is defined and applied across the essential oils market. Companies can define for themselves what “therapeutic-grade” means. Yet those companies will claim the “therapeutic grade” banner as if it is an official and objective mark of quality.
On the other hand, you will often find experienced EO users talking about the therapeutic value of essential oils, and that’s a perfectly valid way of discussing quality. It can be confusing until you become familiar with the jargon and are aware of who is sourcing the information you are reading. For more on this issue, see Choosing an Essential Oils Company.
Bottom Line on the “Experts”
The “Expert” label is a marketing strategy, much like “theraputic-grade.” You will hear the term “expert” during essential oils conversations and it could mean an experienced practitioner and a balanced source of information, or it could mean a supplier of mass produced oils and marketing schemes. Just be aware. For more information, start with 20 Critical Questions Answered About Essential Oils.
Multi-Level Marketing Companies (MLMs)ML Ms Drop
I am not against MLMs, necessarily, although I am very cautious about them. However, I’ll occasionally support MLM reps when I find the individual and product to be excellent. (Lilia Rose comes to mind.)
When it comes to essential oils MLMs, however, I’m even more unlikely to buy in and have chosen not to purchase from them at all. Here are a few key reasons why:
Overpriced. There are companies with products at least on par with MLMs that are less expensive. You definitely get what you pay for, so be cautious about super cheap oils. However, paying even more for marketing hype and structures is not in my budget. Rocky Mountain Oils is my preferred company because of quality and customer service. They sell lavender, for example, at about $10 cheaper per bottle than the MLMs. There are likely other companies as awesome as NAN, but this is the one I’ve landed on after extensive research.
Questionable Marketing Practices. All the MLMs say their oils are the only ones that should be used because of their superior quality, and use those made up labels like “therapeutic-grade” to put weight behind their claims. I think that’s a bit shady. It’s caused a lot of confusion and makes me wonder whether there are more areas where they are being intentionally misleading.
Strangely Fierce Loyalty. I know several people who love MLM oils and just want to be a part of it and use their oils at discount. They may use it to supplement their family income or just sell the oils at cost to friends. I think that’s great. They’ve found a good fit for them and that’s what matters. However, there are others that are strangely fierce in their loyalty and will simply regurgitate information they are fed by the company in order to defend it. They get ugly and launch personal attacks when people say they would rather go with another company or aren’t interested in MLMs. It’s weird.
Bottom Line on MLMs:
I don’t think MLMs are worth it. There are other companies out there with excellent, high quality products at more reasonable prices, and I don’t have to be in an MLM club. If you belong to an MLM and love it, I think that’s great! My hope is that each of us would use common sense and take responsibility to research on our own about essential oils so that we can make the best choices for our families.
Certification DropCertified Aromatherapists
As I said earlier, a hot debate right now in the essential oils world is whether internal use is safe. One side will say never to use internally and the other would have you taking them daily. One side says “such and such aromatherapy organization says not to!” and the other side says “but they do it in Europe!”
Oh my.
Have you ever noticed that at the end of nearly every blog post, and many web articles, the writer says something like “use caution, and when in doubt, consult a certified aromatherapist.” Why do you think that is? To cover their rears? Maybe.
I think it’s because very few people have an answer they’re confident in, so they throw that in there. Well, I did some digging into aromatherapy certifications and revisited the whole internal use debate.
Join me next week for that and my recommendation on who you should trust about essential oils.
Use Essential Oils Safely and Confidently with Your Family
Would you like a resource to help you learn to use essential oils with your family? Download this free 3-page printable:
Basic guidelines for using essential oils around kids
A list of safe, kid-friendly oils essential oils
Helpful essential oil recipes
Click the link or image below to download the 3-page Mom’s Essential Oil Cheat Sheet. I’ll follow it up with more resources and free printables to help you on your essential oil journey. Grab your copy now!
Download Now
*FDA disclaimer: “These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease.”
Original article and pictures take www.intoxicatedonlife.com site
It’s been three days since your baby’s relatively uncomplicated delivery. Your nipples are extremely sore, bleeding and cracked. But, the nurses at the hospital told you it was fine. You notice your baby isn’t stooling much, but figure maybe he is just taking his time. When you go to your one week checkup, your baby is not gaining any weight. In fact your baby has lost over 10%. The doctor might say, “He needs a bit of supplemental formula, in order to gain weight.” You go obediently to the store and purchase the formula your doctor recommends and begin the supplementation plan in which you and your doctor feel comfortable, aided by your breastfeeding counselor. It’s a difficult process, but with support and education, after a few weeks your baby is on a good gaining trend. Now what? You might worry that you will ever get your milk supply back if that was the problem, and wonder about weaning baby off formula.
Weaning Baby Off Formula – the Safe Way
This is a very familiar story for many women. Your details might be slightly different, but rest assured, in many cases, rebuilding your milk supply and weaning off of supplements is usually possible. In a biologically typical woman with a term healthy infant, as long as baby can adequately remove milk from your breasts, you can wean off of supplements slowly, over time.
The first thing to do, if you haven’t already been tracking, is to write down a three-day journal of how much supplement your baby gets over a 24 hour period. This includes any pumped milk your baby gets. There are two schools of thought in regards to supplementation weaning. One says to reduce supplementation very slowly over time until your body catches up. The other says to pump and nurse in addition to your supplements to tell your body to make more, which will cause the baby to take less supplement.
Reduce supplements gradually first.
Start by reducing the supplement by very small increments over the course of an entire day. Try reducing supplement by one ounce total. So if your baby gets 11 ounces supplement in a 24 hour period, try giving 10 ounces each 24 hours, for the next three day period. If baby is doing well, decrease your supplement amount by another one ounce, so that it is nine ounces in a 24 hour period for the next three day period. Waiting to reduce the supplement amount every three days gives your body time to make more milk and catch up to your baby’s needs.
Increase milk supply first and have baby reduce supplements on his own.
You can increase your supply simply by removing more milk. You can do this by adding in pumping sessions into your day. If your baby nurses every 2-3 hours, you can pump in between sessions. You can also pump during the early morning hours of 1am-6am as your prolactin levels are the highest during this period. Do your best to pump both breasts if you can as this will stimulate milk to increase at a faster rate than just pumping one side, although any extra milk removal is moving in a great direction of supply increase! Pump as often as you are able to do so, but at a minimum aim for 2-4 sessions. You can give your baby pumped milk instead of supplement if you would like, watching your baby and baby’s weight gain.
Here are some resources for picking out the right pump. If you need tips on how to actually pump, check out this article here on Breastfeeding Place! Use olive oil or coconut oil to lube your breasts and nipple and pump flanges so you can reduce painful chafing. Also, if you cannot access a good breast pump due to financial constraints, consider applying for WIC since most offices provide a hospital grade double electric pump to moms that meet the financial requirements. And finally, consider hand expression. Here is a video demonstration using the Marmet Technique.
Evaluate – are your techniques to increase supply effective?
Make sure you are getting frequent, as in every 3-7 days, weight checks to make sure baby is continuing to gain. Per the World Health Organization, if your baby is 0-4 months, you’re looking to see about an ounce a day, or 5.5-8.5 ounces a week. If your baby is 4-6 months, expect 3.25-4.5 ounces a week, and if your baby is 6-12 months old, the range is 1.75-2.75 ounces a week. Remember, where your baby is on the growth charts isn’t as important as your baby staying on his own curve, whether that is a 5% curve or a 95% curve.
Ask – is there anything else I can do?
If you are reducing supplements and/or pumping frequently and effectively, but still haven’t quite met your baby’s needs, and, it has been determined that the baby is not being unintentionally overfed, consider the use of galactagogues. Galactagogues are simply herbs or medications that increase milk supply. Here is a great article by one of our authors about their use.
Two popular medications are domperidone or reglan. Speak with your doctor about their use. Domperidone is not FDA approved, but can be prescribed by your doctor and filled by your pharmacist at a compounding pharmacy. Many people order it online at pharmacies in the Netherlands or Canada. Reglan has also been shown to increase milk supply but can come with some potentially difficult side effects. Your doctor can go over the use of these medications in your particular situation.
The final piece of information is the length of time it can take to do this. This will depend on several factors: how much supplement you are currently using, how often you can pump, how often you nurse, how frequently you can reduce supplement without jeopardizing the baby’s weight gain, and if you decide to use galactagogues in addition to your pumping and/or supplement reduction technique. What you may find is that with dedication and persistence, over 1-3 weeks, give or take, you will see the changes you would like to see. At the very least, you can reduce supplement almost entirely if not completely.
Does weaning baby off formula make you nervous or make you feel determined?
Original article and pictures take www.breastfeedingplace.com site
I always knew I loved a good massage (don’t we all?!), but my adoration grew by leaps and bounds when I realized the incredible impact of massage on the adrenal fatigue recovery process.
While researching this issue recently, I realized my golden opportunity to get my hubs the best Valentine’s Day gift ever. You see – he actually specifically requested that we “do that Melt thing again“, so I’m making him a book of coupons for massages at home using the Melt professional massage for couples videos.
How absolutely perfect is that?! (The man seriously loves his back massages, people. Not exaggerating in the slightest.)
But since this is a reciprocal gift, I’ll be enjoying some massages too. That’s when it occurred to me: massages are called therapeutic for a reason, right? We’ve used them in the past for various health-related reasons: sore muscles, mostly. And hmmm – they’re also great for relaxation and decreasing stress…
Are you seeing where I’m going with this yet?
That’s right – I’ll be winning my award for Best Wife Ever, AND reaping the rewards of adrenal fatigue healing (which just so happens to be my number one health goal for this year.)
Since adrenal fatigue is a result of a whacked-out HPA axis (hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal), massage for adrenal fatigue is actually an ingenious addition to my healing protocol because it has a direct, measurable impact on your biochemistry!
“The adrenal glands are located on each kidney. They secrete cortisol, the hormone responsible for regulating the effects of stress on our bodies (all kinds – physical, emotional, psychological, environmental, and/or infectious).
When these glands are overworked, they cease to function optimally, which effects all of the major physiological systems in the body. This includes how your body handles nutrition, weight gain/loss, immune system response, moods, sex drive, cardiovascular and gastrointestinal function, blood sugar regulation, energy levels, and sleep patterns, and tons more.”
It’s absolutely vital for adrenal fatigue sufferers to take extra care in helping their bodies manage stress on a daily basis. Massage can assist significantly with that task.
Massage therapy has been extensively studied and discussed in medical literature. It lowers cortisol levels, and increases seratonin and dopamine – perfect for defusing that adrenally fatigued brain on high alert (mistakenly thinking that it’s being chased by an angry bear) so that your hormones can come back to a more normal balance. (source: The International Journal of Neuroscience)
Because hormones and neurotransmitters have such wide-spread impact on our health and well-being, the benefits of massage can be powerful indeed.
(And it also might win the award for most enjoyable health protocol ever! Imagine getting a prescription for a couples massage: um, yes please!)
Since cortisol levels are typically highest in the evenings, this is totally the perfect scenario for a nice relaxing home massage from your partner, with major side benefits on your health.
Of course, massage alone won’t fix the issue – it’s part of a bigger picture for a more mindful lifestyle that takes care of your needs and helps support your body in the healing process.
But the incredible benefits of having your loving partner massage you in the comfort and intimacy of your own home with soft music playing and candlelight flickering after the kiddos are asleep? Well, that just rounds it out perfectly, doesn’t it?
I can’t believe it took me this long to connect massage with adrenal fatigue recovery, but I’m glad I finally did!
The Perfect At-Home Massage Solution for Adrenal Fatigue Sufferers (or Anyone!)
It can tough to get out of the house for regular massage appointments when you’re juggling an already-busy schedule, and trying not to overcommit and stress yourself out more. Massage therapy appointments can also be quite expensive when you add them up over the long-term.
To this, I have the perfect solution for you:
Melt is a series of online video massage tutorials that you can follow from home. I‘m a huge fan of this brilliant idea created by Registered Massage Therapist, Denis Merkas, in Australia.
(Check out the website for access to a FREE mini massage course to try it out! You’ll love it.)
There’s no nudity or awkwardness, and Denis skillfully shows you how to massage at home without any special equipment, with techniques that will feel AMAZING. (We used to try to give each other back massages but had no idea what to do, and they weren’t great at all. The difference when we started using Melt was a stark contrast.)
This year for Valentine’s Day, the Melt Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced series is being offered at an incredible price of just $89 (usually $147), which includes lifetime access! (This is the last time Melt will be bundled up at this low of a price.)
Pay once, get lifetime access.
With that in mind, this is easily considered the most frugal option for incorporating massage into your adrenal fatigue protocol (or any stress management and relaxation goals, really!)
Get your access today with a printable Valentine’s gift voucher – the $89 sale ends February 14th, 2016!
Thanks to Melt Couples Massage Course for sponsoring today’s content, and letting me get the word out about another piece of the adrenal fatigue recovery process. I am genuinely using and loving these videos, and I hope you will too!
Original article and pictures take redandhoney.com site
The article was written by a mom who explains that for her second child she managed to get by with only five things for her newborn.
Here is her list…
1. Car Seat
There’s no getting around it. You simply can’t get by without a car seat. And unlike other items that you can buy used, safety experts recommend that you purchase a new one for your baby.
2. Crib
Even if you decide to co-sleep with your newborn, you’ll eventually want him to snooze behind bars. Keep in mind that cribs are constantly getting recalled, so you’ll want to stay on top of the latest news and buy one with fixed sides.
3. Stroller
Strollers are a bit like cars. You can’t really survive without one. But the good news is that you can spend as little or as much as you want on a set of wheels. My personal recommendation is to start off with a frame for the infant seat (about $55). Then buy something more substantial once your child reaches six months and you have a better handle on your needs.
4. Bouncie Seat
There’s no doubt a child can survive without a bouncie seat. But it sure is nice to have someplace to put your baby while you’re mixing bottles or want to give your back a break.
5. Baby Bottles
Even if you breast feed, you may decide to give your child expressed milk in a baby bottle. But that doesn’t mean you need to go out and buy ones that hold just two or four ounces. In just a couple of months your infant will start drinking six ounces and those petite bottles will become obsolete.
Really? Is the checklist for a newborn really that simple?
Like I mentioned before, I think many of our babies (just like the rest of us) have too many “things”, but do you think you could get by on just those five?
I have heard rumors that that what goes in a baby comes out the other end, so maybe we should add diapers to the list as well. But who knows, maybe the Baby Einstein folks have figured out a way to potty train in the womb. I can only hope.
Parents, what do you think? What other things do you need for a newborn baby?
Original article and pictures take christianpf.com site
The Only 12 Exercises You Need To Get In Shape Photos by Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed / Design by Chris Ritter for BuzzFeed
You can work out pretty much anywhere using bodyweight exercise moves.
Bodyweight exercises are moves that use only your body’s weight as resistance, such as pushups and lunges — no equipment needed. They’re a staple in many high-intensity circuit training (HICT) workouts. HICT workouts are intense and quick — like crazy quick. Like, you do them in less than 30 minutes quick. That means you can get in great shape without going to the gym, spending hours working out, or using any workout equipment at all. (Seriously; it’s science.) You’ve just gotta know the right moves.
BuzzFeed Life reached out to personal trainer and exercise physiologist Albert Matheny, C.S.C.S., founder of SoHo Strength Lab, and asked him to come up with a list of 12 exercise moves that are essential for anyone who wants to be able to do a workout anywhere and anytime. He also came up with nine different workouts that are various combinations of these moves. But you can think of these 12 moves as the building blocks for tons of variations of quick, do-anywhere HICT workouts.
Some of these moves have instructions for how to make them easier and others don’t. For the moves that don’t have “make it easier” instructions, just perform the movements as well as you can. Know that it’s better to do just a few reps of each movement perfectly, rather than doing many reps of the movements wrong. Cool!
Maintain a plank position; your body should be in a straight line from from the back of your head to your hips.
Keep your neck neutral, keeping it in line with your shoulders.
As you lower, keep your elbows close to your body.
Don’t
Let your butt sag or stick up.
Tilt your head up or tuck it in.
Allow your shoulders to come towards your ears.
Make it easier
Widen the distance between your feet for better stability.
Or perform the pushup as described above, but rather than starting in and returning to a plank position, do the pushup with your knees touching the ground. Just make sure to keep your back and thighs in a straight line.
2. Plank
Photos by Lauren Zaser for BuzzFeed. Design by Chris Ritter for BuzzFeed.
Do
Plant your hands under your shoulders, or slightly wider apart.
Squeeze your glutes. (That would be your butt.)
Keep your body in a straight line from the top of your head through your feet.
Tighten your core.
Tuck your chin.
Fix your gaze on the floor, either between or just beyond your hands.
Don’t
Let your butt lift or sag.
Lift your head.
Hold the position if your form is suffering — the only good exercise move is one that you do right.
Make it easier
Hold the position for a shorter period of time.
3. Glute Bridge
Do
Lie on your back.
Place your feet flat on the floor, hip-width apart, toes pointing forward, with your knees bent.
Contract your abs.
Push through your heels to lift your hips off the floor.
Don’t
Stop contracting your abs.
Push your hips so high that the neutral position of your hips and back becomes compromised.
4. Spider Lunge
Do
Start in the top of a pushup position.
Bring your right foot to the outside of your right hand.
Land with a flat foot.
Bring your foot back to the starting position.
Repeat on other side.
Maintain a strong plank position throughout.
Don’t
Allow your shoulders to move away from directly over your hands.
Allow your hips to sag.
5. Plank Tap
Do
Begin in a plank position.
Lightly tap your left shoulder with your right hand.
Return your hands to the plank position.
Alternate on the other side.
Maintain a strong plank position with a tight core and glutes throughout.
Don’t
Allow your weight to shift as you tap your shoulders.
6. Squat
Do
Position your feet somewhere between hip- and shoulder-width apart.
Turn your toes out as needed to accommodate flexibility through the movement.
Keep your chest tall.
Look ahead and slightly up.
Be sure your knees are tracking in line with your toes.
Squat as deep as your flexibility allows.
Don’t
Let your knees travel forward past your toes.
Let your knees buckle inwards.
Lift your heels off the ground.
Shift your weight to your toes.
Make it easier
Keep the squat shallow if going deeper is difficult or pulling uncomfortably.
7. Side Lunge
Do
Keep your chest up.
Shift your weight through your midfoot and heel.
Lunge as low as your flexibility allows.
Don’t
Let your knees travel forward past your toes.
8. Squat Jump
Do
Squat until your thighs are parallel with the floor.
Keep your chest up.
Hold your arms straight in front of you as you squat, pushing them behind your back as you jump.
Jump as high as you can.
Exhale as you jump.
Land softly.
Don’t
Allow your knees to travel past your toes.
Shift your weight to your toes while squatting.
9. Jumping Lunge
Do
Keep your front knee at 90 degrees.
Lunge as low as flexibility allows without the back knee touching the floor.
Maintain a vertical torso.
Keep your weight evenly distributed between your front and back foot.
Jump to switch your foot positioning — front foot goes back, back foot goes front.
Coordinate arm movement so that the front arm pumps forward while the opposite leg lunges back.
Land softly.
Don’t
Allow your knee to touch the floor.
Make it easier
Don’t jump — just do regular lunges.
10. Single-Leg Deadlift
Do
Maintain a flat back.
Keep your core tight.
Keep your weight evenly distributed in your planted leg.
Raise one leg straight behind you, keeping your toes pointed down, as you bend forward, hinging at the hips.
Bend only as low as your flexibility allows.
Pull yourself back to standing using the hamstring (the back) of your planted leg.
Keep your head neutral.
Don’t
Reach for the floor by leading with your fingertips, which causes your back to round — instead, focus on keeping the back flat and hinging at the hips.
Try to touch the floor if your flexibility will not allow it.
Alternate legs between each rep — stick to one leg per set, and then switch to the other leg for the next set.
11. Reverse Lunge
Do
Start in a straight standing position.
Step one foot backwards.
Keep your front knee at a 90-degree angle.
Keep your chest up.
Distribute your weight evenly between front and back foot.
Allow your back knee to lightly touch the floor.
Push through your front heel as you stand up.
Coordinate your arm movements so that your front arm pumps forward while the opposite leg lunges back.
Don’t
Shift the weight in your front foot to your toes.
Allow your knee to travel beyond your toes.
Allow your front knee to cave inward.
12. Walkout
Do
Keep your legs as straight as your flexibility allows.
Keep your back flat.
Bend at the waist and place your hands on the floor in front of you.
Maintain a tight core as you walk your hands forward until you’re in plank position and then backward to standing.
Push your hips as high as possible and press your heels into the ground as you walk your hands back in.
Don’t
Walk your hands past the pushup position.
Allow your hips to sag below neutral.
Sway side to side from your hips.
Bring your shoulders up toward your ears.
Make it easier
Bend your knees slightly if you’re unable to reach the ground, with the goal of increasing your flexibility over time and working toward straight legs.
To turn these moves into a full workout, follow one of these guides.
Or you can learn how to mix and match the moves to make your own DIY bodyweight workout. Here’s how, with some examples below:
Choose exercises that won’t have you using the same muscle groups one after the other. For example, if you choose two movements that mostly tax the upper body (like a plank and pushups) and two that mostly challenge the lower body (say squat jumps and lunges), you’d want to alternate the upper- and lower-body moves: plank, squat jumps, pushups, lunges. Use one of these three formats created by Matheny (and see examples for each one below). Remember, each movement must be performed properly and with full range of motion.
Format A.
30 seconds on, 10 seconds off; you’ll need 3 exercise moves total.
You’ll need 4 exercise moves total for this type, and you break them apart into 2 moves for PART A MINI-CIRCUIT and PART B MINI-CIRCUIT. Then you do 10 reps of each move in a mini-circuit, repeat the mini-circuit 8 times. Rest, and move on to the next mini-circuit. It looks like this:
PART A MINI-CIRCUIT
Movement 1: 10 reps
Movement 2: 10 reps
Repeat PART A x 8
Rest 2 minutes
PART B MINI-CIRCUIT
Movement 3: 10 reps
Movement 4: 10 reps
Repeat PART B x 8
Here’s an example of Format B:
Format C.
Do each round of moves starting on the minute for 4 minutes; you’ll need 4 exercise moves total.
Start the clock: do 10 reps of movement 1
When you’re done with your 10 reps, do jumping jacks until minute 1
Starting at minute 1: 10 reps of movement 2
When you’re done with your 10 reps, do jumping jacks until minute 2
Starting at minute 2: 10 reps of movement 3
When you’re done with your 10 reps, do jumping jacks until minute 3
Starting at minute 3: 10 reps of movement 4
Rest.
Repeat x 5
Here’s an example of Format C:
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When you’re a parent, suddenly everything becomes a question.
What should I feed my baby? When should I start? What car seat should I buy, and am I installing it correctly? What stroller or baby carrier do I need, and how do I use it? What about toys — are some more educational than others? What do I do about all this…!
It can be kind of overwhelming, honestly, at times.
But it’s human nature. We need to ask questions. We need to make sure that we’re doing the best we possibly can for our babies, and children. They’re everything to us.
The One Question We Can’t Ask
I know that every time I’ve had a baby (I’ve had 5), new questions were on my radar.
With my oldest, I obsessively read every book I could on pregnancy, so that I would know what to expect week by week. Was what I was feeling, normal?
I read about each decision I would have to make — routine testing and such (I accepted most of it). I looked into cloth diapers. Honestly, I trusted what I was told a whole lot, by mainstream doctors and mainstream books, because I simply hadn’t thought to ask too many questions…yet. I still did a fair amount of reading about natural birth, breastfeeding, and things I anticipated would be a bit harder.
With my second baby, I started asking even more questions. I looked for a more naturally-minded care provider, starting out with hospital-based midwives. I asked them tons of questions when I first met them (I literally typed up and printed out a list). Later I switched to home birth, but only after asking tons more questions of friends who’d already had home births, then home birth midwives.
I figured out that everyone is a little bit different, and has different needs, and that parenting is no exception. I realized that no one was looking out for my exact best interests, except for me. There were people along the way who provided me information, who supported me, who advocated for me. But only by partnering with them and communicating, could I make sure to get the best care.
That’s reasonable, you know? Professionals are busy, and they need you to be informed and speak up if you have a need. They’re not mind readers.
The More I Learned, the More I Asked
I asked more and more questions…. I started questioning what I thought I knew about car seats, and traded up to better ones. I bought better baby carriers and learned how to use them. I learned more about cloth diapering and found ones that worked for me (I actually sewed my own). I looked into what I was feeding my babies, and started offering healthier options.
Every single thing mattered.
In my fifth pregnancy, I even cared about things like optimal supplement routines, body alignment and motion, and tiny little details that might just make things a little bit healthier.
A lot of mamas can relate. They’d do anything to have the healthiest baby possible. Right?
Even later in life, the questions don’t stop. Where should my child go to school…and when? Should he go to school at all? What method is right? What about discipline? Moral teachings? It never ends.
That’s why it kind of weird that there’s one topic where a lot of people just don’t ask questions. Where they get upset if someone even hints that they might start asking questions. It’s this deep, gut reaction of fear. We can’t question that. We can’t, or the mere questions could lead to hurting our babies, or even our entire society!
That sounds ridiculous. Well, it kind of is. But it happens.
Some of you immediately said, “No, no, no. We can’t question those. Only ‘anti-vaxxers’ question those. Safe and effective, saved the world, greatest public health breakthrough; end of story!”
But is it?
If that is how you feel…why? Where did you learn that?
Most people have simply heard it over and over. The media trumpets it constantly. Many high-profile doctors do as well. There has been a very clever picture painted of how great vaccines are. It denies that there could be anything at all going on other than perfection, and anyone who dares to whisper so much as “Maybe that one vaccine isn’t working as it was intended…” is branded an anti-vaxxer and a crazy person. (You now think I’m a conspiracy theorist for even daring to say this.)
Here’s the truth, though, everyone: vaccines are a medical product. They’re not perfect. They aren’t for everyone. They can hurt some people.
We accept easily that some people are seriously allergic to peanuts, even though most people can eat them without issue. Some people even have peanut “sensitivities,” meaning that they don’t have an anaphylactic reaction, but they might get an upset stomach or a rash from them. Peanuts don’t work for everyone, and that’s okay.
Vaccines are the same way.
If you truly, whole-heartedly believe that only an “anti-vaxxer” would dare to say any of this or question vaccines…why? Shouldn’t we be looking at new evidence as it comes out? Shouldn’t we evaluate vaccines one by one? Shouldn’t we decide on a case-by-case basis (per kid, and per vaccine) what we should do? We do this on every other topic.
Let’s look at water.
Water is absolutely required for life. Without water; you will die in a matter of days. No one is questioning that need.
Yet, we actually do question water all the time. When can my baby have some? How much? In what type of container? How much should I, as an adult, be drinking for optimal health? Is my water clean enough? Should I filter my water — and if so, how?
We question water. Something that is the most basic human necessity.
Yet, we can’t question vaccines. Vaccines are not a human necessity. They are not on par with water. Humans can and do live without them.
Now, you may still believe that vaccines are a good thing, and want to get them. That’s okay. But at least ask some questions first. Why does my child need this one? Is now the best time to receive it? What are the potential negative reactions? What is in this vaccine?
It’s not too much to ask. You don’t feed your baby a new food without making sure it is healthy and age-appropriate. You may even read several books and talk to multiple doctors about when and what to feed your baby, to prevent allergies and keep him or her growing well. Why not ask these same questions about vaccines?
It’s time to stop burying our heads in the sand and acting like vaccines are a magical, perfect product that we simply cannot question. We need to be able to have honest discourse. We need to have informed consent.
Can we do at least that? Can it be okay to just ask questions?
We’re not going to do anything else. We’re not going to take away vaccines. We’re just going to ask questions, and make sure that if you want vaccines, you know that your child is getting them in the safest possible way. We’re going to remove the hysteria surrounding the topic. That’s all.
If you want to ask some more questions, check out our Vaccine Education section. We’re not telling you what to do, and we fully support your right to choose…just start asking questions.
Are vaccines really a question we can’t ask? Or is it time to have an honest discussion?
Original article and pictures take modernalternativehealth.com site
