Do you know someone who tried to breastfeed and thinks that she failed? This letter is for her. (Or you!)
This post is part of the Breast-Kept Secrets series and the Dear Mom Letters.
I don’t want you to ever read my blog and walk away feeling guilty. I want you to feel loved, encouraged, inspired and motivated–no matter where you are in life! I hope this resonates with some of you. Go in grace, humbled homemakers!
Dear Mom who tried to breastfeed and thinks that she failed,
I hear it in your voice. I see it in your eyes. Someone–a “successful” breastfeeding mom–asks: “Did you breastfeed or bottle feed?”
You lower your head and whisper: “I tried to breastfeed…but it just didn’t work. I didn’t make enough milk, and we had to supplement, and by three months, my milk had dried up. I feel bad about it, but I couldn’t.”
And because you couldn’t, you avoid conversations like this. When baby feeding comes up, you change the subject, or walk away or–worst of all, perhaps you even avoid being friends with those who advocate breastfeeding.
It’s not that you don’t think breastfeeding is a good thing. You believe in it. You’ve read the statistics. You’ve done your research. Heck, you even wanted to breastfeed.
But pondering these things and being around breastfeeding mamas only fuels your guilt.
Dear Mom who tried to breastfeed and {thinks that she} failed: Be released of that guilt, dear sister.
Walk free.
First of all, if you even tried, you’re a successful breastfeeding mama in my book. So what if the “experts” say you should breastfeed exclusively for 6 months? So what if your friend breastfed for two years?
Those “experts” and that friend are not YOU. They don’t know why you had to stop breastfeeding. They don’t know the stress that it was causing your family, the underlying health conditions (yours or your baby’s), how it reminded you of being molested as a child or whatever reason may have led you to bottle feed your baby.
From a breastfeeding mama who has breastfed for 53 months and counting, let me say this loudly and clearly now:
You, my dear, are NOT a failure.
If you breastfed for 3 months, 1 month…even 1 day–you ARE a success.
Don’t feel ashamed for doing your best. Don’t feel guilty for nourishing your baby with formula.
Breastfeeding is not the true test of motherhood.
No, in reality, it’s just a blip on the timeline of eternity. It’s just one tiny facet. And…dare I say: There are much, much more important things that factor into the well-being of your child than whether you use breast or bottle. We should never allow a passing season in our lives to fully define us.
When I think about being a “successful” breastfeeding mama, I’m led to 1 Corinthians 13. This is my little paraphrase when comparing love to breastfeeding: “I can breastfeed my children exclusively for years on end and never break out even one bottle of formula, but if I have not love for them…I am nothing.”
I do not know why you stopped breastfeeding, and, really, it’s none of my business. But I do know this: You love your child. And that, my dear sister, is the most important thing of all.
I’m sorry when breastfeeding mamas like me make you feel bad about giving it up. I don’t think most of us mean to, but I’m sorry nonetheless.
And the next time someone asks if you breastfed or bottle fed–and I don’t care if it was even for a day–say, “Well, yes, I did…I did both.” Don’t feel like you need to explain any more.
You love that little baby of yours. Oh, how you love her! And for anyone to suggest otherwise–just because you don’t breastfeed–is just plain wrong (and mean!).
Go in peace, dear mama. Let go of that guilt and walk in freedom. Take that word “failure” out of your head. You, my dear, are a success.
Did you try to breastfeed and it just didn’t work? Have you ever felt like a failure because of it?
P.S. Are you a mom who simply chose not to breastfeed at all? I wrote this other letter specifically for you!
Original article and pictures take thehumbledhomemaker.com site
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